


Fly The W

by missdibley



Series: The Red Nose Diaries [54]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Cubs, Doppelganger, Drabble, Existing Relationship, F/M, Flirting, World Series, phone conversation, the red nose diaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley
Summary: Quick phone conversation between Tom and Carmen the day after the Chicago Cubs win the World Series after an 108 year long drought.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Cubs fans everywhere, but especially antyc67.

“Go Cubs Go… ow. My throat. Ugh.”

“I thought you hated that song.”

“I do, but this dude on the internet remixed it with [Chance The Rapper’s ‘No Problem’](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVkkYlQNmbc) so now it’s actually okay.”

“Are you sure you should be singing? Button, you sound awfully hoarse.”

“Worth it. Cheering for my Cubbies is hard work.”

“How do you even have that tiny scrap of a voice left?”

“Many [Hot Tommys](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6122053). Mmmmm.”

_**“Oh.”** _

“Your special recipe, missing one key element.”

“What would that be?”

“Your thick, hot throbbing.. swizzle stick.”

“Filthy.”

“Cure for what ails me.”

“Where are you? You’re not in London, are you?”

“Nah. New York for a work thing. Close as I could get to Cleveland.”

“That sounds alright.”

“I found a Cubs bar near my hotel.”

“Happy to know you were with your fellow fans for the occasion.”

“Yeah, so remember that when I tell you the next part.”

“Why?”

“I got caught up in the moment.”

“Define ‘caught up in the moment,’ Carmen.”

“So I was eating dinner at the bar. These really amazing nachos, and bottles of prosecco were buy one, get one free…”

“You’re stalling, love.”

“I am not!”

“And now you’re having a tantrum.”

“Am not!”

“Carmen Paloma DiGregorio, what in the name of your beloved sportsball did you do?”

“I kissed…”

“A girl?”

**_*hic*_ **

“Button.”

“Well, everybody was hugging and then kissing and you know I don’t believe in making out with girls just to get dudes off but she was _really_ pretty.”

“Huh.”

“If it helps her boyfriend was making with some other dude.”

“It doesn’t help.”

“How about if I told you that she reminded me of you?”

“How?”

“She was tall. Curly blond hair. Blue eyes.”

“Hmm.”

“I know that sounds like Pool Noodle but unlike her she had a nice ass. Kinda like yours, actually.”

“Flattery will get you…”

“How about this — her boyfriend? Short. Stocky. Filipino. He even had freckles.”

“So what you’re saying is you made out with a woman for a number of reasons, chief among them being that she was effectively my doppelganger. Who happened to be romantically involved with your male counterpart.”

“Pretty much. And honestly, I was going to resist. But she was flirting with me a shitload. Another thing she had in common with you.”

“I am not that much of a flirt.”

“YOU FLIRT WITH EVERYBODY.”

“Don’t turn this around on me.”

“It’s true, Sporty.”

“So why didn’t you resist her?”

“She said…”

“What?”

“She said I was cute as a [button](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4767602).”


End file.
